Nobody asked. Still right.
Sarcastic & Savage captions
Sarcastic captions and savage captions for Instagram for when you're feeling petty, unbothered and a little bit mean (in a funny way). Sassy comebacks and eye-roll energy for your next post.
I'd roast you, but it's too hot out.
Your approval? I've never needed it.
Polite on the outside, savage in the notes app.
My resting face is a whole statement.
You're entitled to your opinion. I'm entitled to ignore it.
Too glam to give you my attention.
Me? Dramatic? Never. *flips hair*
Didn't read your text. Still thriving.
I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I'm pretty close.
Okay, and?
Fake friends disappear faster than my weekend.
You can't handle my energy, and that's fine.
Petty? No. Precise.
Keep talking. I'm writing it all down for the memoir.
My sarcasm is free, but my kindness is limited edition.
Please be patient. I'm pretending to care.
I have lots of energy. Just not for you.
Unbothered is my cardio.
Just because you're awake doesn't mean I am.
My comeback is on two-day delivery.
Rolling my eyes so hard I can see my brain.
You're not my type. My type is people who make sense.
Honesty hour: I wasn't listening.