I'd roast you, but it's too hot out.

Sorry, my give-a-care is out of stock.

Nobody asked. Still right.

My comeback is on two-day delivery.

Life's too short to explain myself twice.

Keep underestimating me. It's hilarious.

Too glam to give you my attention.

Let's be honest: I'm the best part of this photo.

If you're waiting for my apology, get comfy.

Your energy is loud. Mine is louder.

My sarcasm has sarcasm.

Not everyone has to like me. I'm not a weekend.

Honesty hour: I wasn't listening.

Your drama is not my department.

My sarcasm is a gift. You're welcome.

I'm allergic to nonsense.