My comeback is on two-day delivery.

Your approval? I've never needed it.

Sarcasm levels rising. Proceed carefully.

I speak fluent sarcasm and a little bit of eye roll.

Oh, you have opinions? Cute.

They said be nice. I said be real.

Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.

Petty level: expert.

Let me check my schedule for caring... nope, fully booked.

You woke up and chose chaos. So did I.

Mood: dealing with nonsense professionally.

I'd roast you, but it's too hot out.

Attitude? Please. I have taste.

You look like you need a nap. Or a personality.

I'm the reason the group chat went quiet.

I'd tell you a joke about my patience, but it ran out.