Fake friends disappear faster than my weekend.

I'm not avoiding you. I'm just busy doing literally anything else.

Attitude? Please. I have taste.

Wow, another hot take. Groundbreaking.

I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I'm pretty close.

Petty? No. Precise.

Oh, you thought I cared? Adorable.

Keep underestimating me. It's hilarious.

Keep rolling your eyes. It's great exercise.

Rolling my eyes so hard I can see my brain.

Shade is my favourite colour.

My sarcasm is free, but my kindness is limited edition.

If you're waiting for my apology, get comfy.

Nice try, but no.

I'd roast you, but it's too hot out.

My favourite sport is avoiding small talk.