Your energy is loud. Mine is louder.

Rolling my eyes so hard I can see my brain.

Nobody asked. Still right.

Throwing shade? No, just blocking the sun for you.

Keep talking. I'm writing it all down for the memoir.

My sarcasm is free, but my kindness is limited edition.

My resting face is a whole statement.

Too glam to give you my attention.

Sure, I'll add it to my list of things I don't care about.

Be yourself. Unless you're annoying. Then be quiet.

Not bossy. Just correct.

Oh, you thought I cared? Adorable.

I'm not lazy, I'm selectively motivated.

I speak fluent sarcasm and a little bit of eye roll.

Attitude? Please. I have taste.

Please be patient. I'm pretending to care.