Talk to the filter.

I'm not short-tempered. You're just long-winded.

I'd roast you, but it's too hot out.

I'm on a break from people who waste my time.

My silence is just me being polite.

I'm allergic to nonsense.

I'm not lazy, I'm selectively motivated.

I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I'm pretty close.

Your energy is loud. Mine is louder.

I have zero chill and even less patience.

Too glam to give you my attention.

Plot twist: I don't care.

Ghosting is just me reclaiming my time.

I'm not rude. I'm honest in HD.

Polite on the outside, savage in the notes app.

My sarcasm is a gift. You're welcome.