Me, pretending to care: an Oscar-worthy performance.

Say less. Actually, say nothing.

Polite on the outside, savage in the notes app.

I'd agree with you, but I'm allergic to being wrong.

Nobody asked. Still right.

Didn't read your text. Still thriving.

My favourite sport is avoiding small talk.

My sarcasm is a gift. You're welcome.

Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.

Being right is exhausting, but someone has to do it.

Let me check my schedule for caring... nope, fully booked.

Not bossy. Just correct.

Nice try, but no.

Thanks for the unsolicited advice. I'll file it in the bin.

I'm not sassy. I'm just saying what everyone's thinking.

I'll be nicer when you're smarter.