I have zero chill and even less patience.

Your vibe called. It wants a refund.

You're not my type. My type is people who make sense.

My sarcasm is free, but my kindness is limited edition.

Nobody asked. Still right.

You can't handle my energy, and that's fine.

That's a you problem.

You're a limited edition... of annoying.

Keep rolling your eyes. It's great exercise.

They said be nice. I said be real.

Polite on the outside, savage in the notes app.

I'm the reason the group chat went quiet.

Keep talking. I'm writing it all down for the memoir.

My sarcasm has sarcasm.

You're entitled to your opinion. I'm entitled to ignore it.

Thanks for the unsolicited advice. I'll file it in the bin.