My sarcasm is a gift. You're welcome.

Sure, I'll add it to my list of things I don't care about.

I'm allergic to nonsense.

Your drama doesn't match my outfit.

Just because you're awake doesn't mean I am.

Say less. Actually, say nothing.

I love how you think you matter here.

Me? Dramatic? Never. *flips hair*

Petty level: expert.

Sorry, my give-a-care is out of stock.

Thanks for the unsolicited advice. I'll file it in the bin.

Read the room? I am the room.

Shade is my favourite colour.

Attitude? Please. I have taste.

I'm the reason the group chat went quiet.

Me, pretending to care: an Oscar-worthy performance.