I love how you think you matter here.

My middle name is "unbothered".

I'm not sassy. I'm just saying what everyone's thinking.

Life's too short to explain myself twice.

My sarcasm has sarcasm.

I'm the reason the group chat went quiet.

I have zero chill and even less patience.

Oh, you thought I cared? Adorable.

Let me check my schedule for caring... nope, fully booked.

Sure, I'll add it to my list of things I don't care about.

Polite on the outside, savage in the notes app.

My sarcasm is free, but my kindness is limited edition.

Sarcasm levels rising. Proceed carefully.

Okay, and?

Your drama is not my department.

That's a you problem.