I'll be nicer when you're smarter.

Read the room? I am the room.

Not everyone has to like me. I'm not a weekend.

I have a black belt in eye rolling.

I'd tell you a joke about my patience, but it ran out.

Please be patient. I'm pretending to care.

Being right is exhausting, but someone has to do it.

Being this unbothered takes practice.

Sorry I'm late. I didn't want to come.

Plot twist: I don't care.

I'm not lazy, I'm selectively motivated.

Wow, another hot take. Groundbreaking.

Throwing shade? No, just blocking the sun for you.

Petty level: expert.

Nobody asked. Still right.

My last nerve has a do-not-disturb sign.