Keep underestimating me. It's hilarious.

I'm not lazy, I'm selectively motivated.

My sarcasm is a gift. You're welcome.

Too glam to give you my attention.

Me, pretending to care: an Oscar-worthy performance.

Rolling my eyes so hard I can see my brain.

Life's too short to explain myself twice.

Being this unbothered takes practice.

They said be nice. I said be real.

Sorry I'm late. I didn't want to come.

Unbothered is my cardio.

Mood: dealing with nonsense professionally.

Sorry, my give-a-care is out of stock.

I'd tell you a joke about my patience, but it ran out.

You can't handle my energy, and that's fine.

My favourite sport is avoiding small talk.