Petty level: expert.

Say less. Actually, say nothing.

My favourite sport is avoiding small talk.

Thanks for the unsolicited advice. I'll file it in the bin.

I have a black belt in eye rolling.

Oh, you thought I cared? Adorable.

I'm allergic to nonsense.

Didn't read your text. Still thriving.

My comeback is on two-day delivery.

That's a you problem.

I'm not short-tempered. You're just long-winded.

If I wanted your opinion, I'd have asked. I didn't.

I'm not ignoring you. I'm prioritising.

I'm the reason the group chat went quiet.

You can't handle my energy, and that's fine.