Petty level: expert.

You're entitled to your opinion. I'm entitled to ignore it.

Petty? No. Precise.

Let's be honest: I'm the best part of this photo.

Read the room? I am the room.

Talk to the filter.

I'm not rude. I'm honest in HD.

Your opinion has been noted and ignored.

Say less. Actually, say nothing.

Too glam to give you my attention.

Just because you're awake doesn't mean I am.

Some call it savage. I call it Tuesday.

Ghosting is just me reclaiming my time.

My sarcasm is free, but my kindness is limited edition.

Please be patient. I'm pretending to care.