My sarcasm has sarcasm.

Sorry I'm late. I didn't want to come.

They said be nice. I said be real.

I'm the reason the group chat went quiet.

Congratulations on your opinion. Nobody asked.

My silence is just me being polite.

I'm not lazy, I'm selectively motivated.

Polite on the outside, savage in the notes app.

I'd tell you a joke about my patience, but it ran out.

Not everyone has to like me. I'm not a weekend.

Thanks for the unsolicited advice. I'll file it in the bin.

I'd agree with you, but I'm allergic to being wrong.

If you're waiting for my apology, get comfy.

Brains, beauty and a little bit of attitude.

I'm not rude. I'm honest in HD.

Nice try, but no.