I'm not rude. I'm honest in HD.

I speak fluent sarcasm and a little bit of eye roll.

Be yourself. Unless you're annoying. Then be quiet.

My sarcasm has sarcasm.

Didn't read your text. Still thriving.

Stay mad. I'll stay thriving.

Say less. Actually, say nothing.

My sarcasm is a gift. You're welcome.

My last nerve has a do-not-disturb sign.

Let me check my schedule for caring... nope, fully booked.

Congratulations on your opinion. Nobody asked.

Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.

Plot twist: I don't care.

Me? Dramatic? Never. *flips hair*

Attitude? Please. I have taste.

Nobody asked. Still right.