Sorry I'm late. I didn't want to come.

Your drama is not my department.

I'm on a break from people who waste my time.

My resting face is a whole statement.

Please be patient. I'm pretending to care.

You're not my type. My type is people who make sense.

Just because you're awake doesn't mean I am.

You're entitled to your opinion. I'm entitled to ignore it.

Your vibe called. It wants a refund.

Read the room? I am the room.

Let's be honest: I'm the best part of this photo.

My comeback is on two-day delivery.

Petty level: expert.

My sarcasm is a gift. You're welcome.

That's a you problem.

If you're waiting for my apology, get comfy.