Plot twist: I don't care.

Too glam to give you my attention.

Being this unbothered takes practice.

Queen of comebacks, princess of peace.

Didn't read your text. Still thriving.

I'm allergic to nonsense.

Nice try, but no.

I speak fluent sarcasm and a little bit of eye roll.

My sarcasm is free, but my kindness is limited edition.

Throwing shade? No, just blocking the sun for you.

You woke up and chose chaos. So did I.

Life's too short to explain myself twice.

If I wanted your opinion, I'd have asked. I didn't.

Rolling my eyes so hard I can see my brain.

Petty level: expert.

I'm not avoiding you. I'm just busy doing literally anything else.