I speak fluent sarcasm and a little bit of eye roll.

Sure, I'll add it to my list of things I don't care about.

Honesty hour: I wasn't listening.

That's a you problem.

My vibe is expensive. Your opinion is free.

Read the room? I am the room.

Nice try, but no.

I'd agree with you, but I'm allergic to being wrong.

Didn't read your text. Still thriving.

My silence is just me being polite.

Shade is my favourite colour.

You woke up and chose chaos. So did I.

Me? Dramatic? Never. *flips hair*

Please be patient. I'm pretending to care.

Life's too short to explain myself twice.

I have zero chill and even less patience.