My goal this week: find my other sock.

My spirit animal is a sloth on vacation.

If laziness were a sport, I still wouldn't compete.

Keep calm and pretend you know what you're doing.

I'm not late, everyone else is early.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.

I have two moods: hungry and sleepy.

Just vibing until someone asks me to do something.

The group chat is 90% memes and 10% plans that never happen.

I have two moods: hungry and sleepy.

Every day I wake up and choose snacks.

I tried to be productive but the couch won.

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.

I can't adult today. Please leave a message.

Dance like nobody's watching. They're not. They're on their phones.

My texting speed is fast, my reply speed is not.

I tried to be productive but the couch won.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.

My cooking is so good the smoke alarm cheers me on.

Mentally, I'm still in bed.

Let me overthink this and get back to you.

Just vibing until someone asks me to do something.

Some people have abs. I have snacks.

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.

I put on my "doing nothing" outfit today.

I have two moods: hungry and sleepy.

My only marathon is a TV series.

Currently buffering. Try again later.

Mentally, I'm still in bed.

My favourite workout is running out of patience.