Let me overthink this and get back to you.

My spirit animal is a sloth on vacation.

I have two moods: hungry and sleepy.

My phone is at 100% and I'm at 5%.

Adulting level: cereal for dinner.

I can't adult today. Please leave a message.

I put on my "doing nothing" outfit today.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.

I tried to be productive but the couch won.

Mentally, I'm still in bed.

I'm not clumsy, the floor just loves me.

Keep calm and pretend you know what you're doing.

I'm a people person, as long as they bring food.

Let me overthink this and get back to you.

Me: saves money. Also me: sees a sale.

My hair has a mind of its own, and it's not a nice one.

I don't need therapy, I need a beach and zero emails.

I'm not late, everyone else is early.

My favourite workout is running out of patience.

I'm the reason the group chat has trust issues.

My goal this week: find my other sock.

My texting speed is fast, my reply speed is not.

I'm a people person, as long as they bring food.

Me and my overthinking are best friends.

My sense of direction is a myth.

I followed a recipe once. Never again.

My to-do list has a to-do list.

Warning: may start talking about snacks at any moment.

Some people have abs. I have snacks.

I'm a people person, as long as they bring food.