I don't need therapy, I need a beach and zero emails.

Monday called. I didn't pick up.

Me: saves money. Also me: sees a sale.

My goal this week: find my other sock.

Dance like nobody's watching. They're not. They're on their phones.

I tried to be productive but the couch won.

Adulting level: cereal for dinner.

I put on my "doing nothing" outfit today.

My favourite workout is running out of patience.

Just vibing until someone asks me to do something.

Here for a good time, not a long time. Especially at meetings.

Proud member of the "5 more minutes" club.

My goal this week: find my other sock.

I'm not clumsy, the floor just loves me.

The weekend went by faster than my paycheck.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.