Social battery: 2%.

Me: saves money. Also me: sees a sale.

I followed a recipe once. Never again.

My favourite workout is running out of patience.

Proud member of the "5 more minutes" club.

Life update: I finally folded the laundry. Just kidding.

If laziness were a sport, I still wouldn't compete.

Some people have abs. I have snacks.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.

My hair has a mind of its own, and it's not a nice one.

My goal this week: find my other sock.

My brain is a browser with 47 tabs open.

I tried to be productive but the couch won.

My goal this week: find my other sock.

Currently accepting applications for someone to do my laundry.

Adulting level: cereal for dinner.

I need a nap and a new personality.

My phone is at 100% and I'm at 5%.

My hair has a mind of its own, and it's not a nice one.

I'm a people person, as long as they bring food.

Me pretending to understand the group chat.

My cooking is so good the smoke alarm cheers me on.

Keep calm and pretend you know what you're doing.

Keep calm and pretend you know what you're doing.

If laziness were a sport, I still wouldn't compete.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.

I have two moods: hungry and sleepy.

Social battery: 2%.

My sense of direction is a myth.

I'm not late, everyone else is early.