I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.

I'm on a strict diet of whatever's in the fridge.

Professional snack taster, amateur everything else.

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.

My cooking is so good the smoke alarm cheers me on.

My favourite workout is running out of patience.

Dance like nobody's watching. They're not. They're on their phones.

Dance like nobody's watching. They're not. They're on their phones.

The weekend went by faster than my paycheck.

My goal this week: find my other sock.

I'm not clumsy, the floor just loves me.

Just vibing until someone asks me to do something.

My love language is being left alone with snacks.

My only marathon is a TV series.

I have two moods: hungry and sleepy.

I'm fine. My search history says otherwise.