Life update: I finally folded the laundry. Just kidding.

Proud member of the "5 more minutes" club.

Currently accepting applications for someone to do my laundry.

Currently accepting applications for someone to do my laundry.

I'm not procrastinating, I'm prioritising naps.

Me: saves money. Also me: sees a sale.

Professional snack taster, amateur everything else.

My to-do list has a to-do list.

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.

The couch and I have an understanding.

I'm on a strict diet of whatever's in the fridge.

Some people have abs. I have snacks.

If laziness were a sport, I still wouldn't compete.

My phone is at 100% and I'm at 5%.

I'm the reason the group chat has trust issues.

Did I sleep 8 hours or 8 minutes? Unclear.

Keep calm and pretend you know what you're doing.

Currently accepting applications for someone to do my laundry.

Stayed up late for absolutely no reason. Again.

My brain is a browser with 47 tabs open.

Here for a good time, not a long time. Especially at meetings.

I tried to be productive but the couch won.

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.

Me: saves money. Also me: sees a sale.

Dance like nobody's watching. They're not. They're on their phones.

I tried to be productive but the couch won.

Proud member of the "5 more minutes" club.

Calories? I prefer to call them flavour points.

Professional snack taster, amateur everything else.

My sense of direction is a myth.