I have two moods: hungry and sleepy.

I'm fine. My search history says otherwise.

I'm the reason the group chat has trust issues.

Currently accepting applications for someone to do my laundry.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.

If laziness were a sport, I still wouldn't compete.

I'm not late, everyone else is early.

Water, check. Snacks, check. Motivation, not found.

Let me overthink this and get back to you.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.

I put on my "doing nothing" outfit today.

Me: saves money. Also me: sees a sale.

I'm a people person, as long as they bring food.

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.

My goal this week: find my other sock.

Let me overthink this and get back to you.

Me pretending to understand the group chat.

Life update: I finally folded the laundry. Just kidding.

I need a nap and a new personality.

Some people have abs. I have snacks.

My love language is being left alone with snacks.

Monday called. I didn't pick up.

Adulting level: cereal for dinner.

Proud member of the "5 more minutes" club.

If laziness were a sport, I still wouldn't compete.

Currently buffering. Try again later.

The couch and I have an understanding.

My hair has a mind of its own, and it's not a nice one.

My cooking is so good the smoke alarm cheers me on.

My phone is at 100% and I'm at 5%.