I'm not lazy, I'm selectively motivated.

Sarcasm is my love language. Sorry.

My patience has left the chat.

You're not my type. My type is people who make sense.

I came, I saw, I judged.

Okay, and?

Sarcasm levels rising. Proceed carefully.

You look like you need a nap. Or a personality.

Thanks for the unsolicited advice. I'll file it in the bin.

I'm not short-tempered. You're just long-winded.

I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I'm pretty close.

I don't do drama. I watch it.

Petty level: expert.

If I wanted your opinion, I'd have asked. I didn't.

Nice try, but no.

I'm not ignoring you. I'm prioritising.