Petty? No. Precise.

Oh, you have opinions? Cute.

Polite on the outside, savage in the notes app.

Oh, you thought I cared? Adorable.

I'm not sassy. I'm just saying what everyone's thinking.

You can't handle my energy, and that's fine.

Nice try, but no.

My sarcasm is free, but my kindness is limited edition.

Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.

Read the room? I am the room.

Your approval? I've never needed it.

Thanks for the unsolicited advice. I'll file it in the bin.

Sure, I'll add it to my list of things I don't care about.

Sorry I'm late. I didn't want to come.

My vibe is expensive. Your opinion is free.

Sarcasm is my love language. Sorry.