I'd roast you, but it's too hot out.

I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I'm pretty close.

Your energy is loud. Mine is louder.

Sorry I'm late. I didn't want to come.

Mood: dealing with nonsense professionally.

I'd agree with you, but I'm allergic to being wrong.

Didn't read your text. Still thriving.

Read the room? I am the room.

My comeback is on two-day delivery.

Ghosting is just me reclaiming my time.

My resting face is a whole statement.

You're entitled to your opinion. I'm entitled to ignore it.

I'm not lazy, I'm selectively motivated.

Stay mad. I'll stay thriving.

My sarcasm is a gift. You're welcome.

Be yourself. Unless you're annoying. Then be quiet.