Oh, you have opinions? Cute.

Oh, you thought I cared? Adorable.

They said be nice. I said be real.

My sarcasm is free, but my kindness is limited edition.

Some call it savage. I call it Tuesday.

My middle name is "unbothered".

I speak fluent sarcasm and a little bit of eye roll.

Your drama is not my department.

My last nerve has a do-not-disturb sign.

Me, pretending to care: an Oscar-worthy performance.

Petty? No. Precise.

I'm not sassy. I'm just saying what everyone's thinking.

Keep underestimating me. It's hilarious.

I'm allergic to nonsense.

Unbothered is my cardio.