My only marathon is a TV series.

Monday called. I didn't pick up.

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.

My brain is a browser with 47 tabs open.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.

Currently buffering. Try again later.

Stayed up late for absolutely no reason. Again.

I'm fine. My search history says otherwise.

If laziness were a sport, I still wouldn't compete.

Keep calm and pretend you know what you're doing.

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.

Did I sleep 8 hours or 8 minutes? Unclear.

Adulting level: cereal for dinner.

Every day I wake up and choose snacks.

Out of office: mentally, emotionally, physically.

My only marathon is a TV series.

I'm not procrastinating, I'm prioritising naps.

Keep calm and pretend you know what you're doing.

Some people have abs. I have snacks.

Remembered everything I forgot. At 2am. In bed.

Social battery: 2%.

If you need me, I'm in my blanket fort.

My goal this week: find my other sock.

Currently accepting applications for someone to do my laundry.

I put on my "doing nothing" outfit today.

My phone is at 100% and I'm at 5%.

My phone is at 100% and I'm at 5%.

Me pretending to understand the group chat.

I'm the reason the group chat has trust issues.

Let me overthink this and get back to you.