Keep calm and pretend you know what you're doing.

I'm fine. My search history says otherwise.

Currently buffering. Try again later.

Currently accepting applications for someone to do my laundry.

My sense of direction is a myth.

I'm a people person, as long as they bring food.

I'm not procrastinating, I'm prioritising naps.

Let me overthink this and get back to you.

Did I sleep 8 hours or 8 minutes? Unclear.

My hair has a mind of its own, and it's not a nice one.

Adulting level: cereal for dinner.

Every day I wake up and choose snacks.

I'm not late, everyone else is early.

The weekend went by faster than my paycheck.

Let me overthink this and get back to you.

Proud member of the "5 more minutes" club.