Remembered everything I forgot. At 2am. In bed.

Currently buffering. Try again later.

I don't need therapy, I need a beach and zero emails.

My brain is a browser with 47 tabs open.

Me: saves money. Also me: sees a sale.

My phone is at 100% and I'm at 5%.

Here for a good time, not a long time. Especially at meetings.

Dance like nobody's watching. They're not. They're on their phones.

I'm fine. My search history says otherwise.

I'm a people person, as long as they bring food.

I'm the reason the group chat has trust issues.

Me: saves money. Also me: sees a sale.

Currently accepting applications for someone to do my laundry.

If laziness were a sport, I still wouldn't compete.

I put on my "doing nothing" outfit today.

Life update: I finally folded the laundry. Just kidding.