I'm fine. My search history says otherwise.

I have two moods: hungry and sleepy.

Every day I wake up and choose snacks.

If laziness were a sport, I still wouldn't compete.

Every day I wake up and choose snacks.

My goal this week: find my other sock.

Out of office: mentally, emotionally, physically.

My cooking is so good the smoke alarm cheers me on.

I put on my "doing nothing" outfit today.

Keep calm and pretend you know what you're doing.

Some people have abs. I have snacks.

I put on my "doing nothing" outfit today.

I'm not procrastinating, I'm prioritising naps.

I'm on a strict diet of whatever's in the fridge.

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.

Here for a good time, not a long time. Especially at meetings.