Keep watching. I'll keep winning.

I've read menus with more personality.

Congratulations. You've been ignored.

I'd love to argue, but I have plans. With anyone else.

Sorry, I only take criticism from people I'd take advice from.

Thanks for the view, the comment and the free promotion.

I don't make time for people who make excuses.

You tried. The internet noticed.

Your comment is proof that anyone can get a phone.

Low battery, high standards. You didn't make the cut.

My therapist is going to laugh at this one.

Wow. Did you think of that all by yourself?

I'd roast you, but I don't cook for free.

You talk a lot for someone I've never heard of.

You seem nice. From a distance.

Screenshot. Laugh. Delete.