That was your best shot? Oof.

You must be tired from living rent-free in my comments.

That's a lot of words for "I'm jealous".

I'd roast you, but I don't cook for free.

You came all this way to say that? Brave.

My haters never miss a post. Loyal, honestly.

Aww, you're trying. That's sweet.

Stay pressed. It suits you.

Imagine spending your day on my page. Couldn't be me.

Please, tell me more about my life. I love fiction.

You're mad at someone who doesn't know your name.

Next time, bring a better line.

Anyway...

I don't make time for people who make excuses.

The audacity. The typos. The drama.

Noted. Filed. Forgotten.