I'm the main character. You're a comment.

Aww, you're trying. That's sweet.

Sorry, I only take criticism from people I'd take advice from.

You must be exhausted from being this wrong.

I've read menus with more personality.

Your insult needs a software update.

Bold of you to assume I asked.

Take notes: this is what unbothered looks like.

Take a seat. Actually, take two.

Imagine being this bothered by someone this unbothered.

Say it again, but with facts this time.

Talk is cheap, and so was that comment.

You sound like a bad review of yourself.

Your comment has been screenshotted for the group chat.

Sending you peace. You clearly need it more.

My haters never miss a post. Loyal, honestly.