You woke up and chose chaos. So did I.

Sorry I'm late. I didn't want to come.

I'd roast you, but it's too hot out.

My sarcasm is a gift. You're welcome.

Petty level: expert.

My resting face is a whole statement.

Keep rolling your eyes. It's great exercise.

Sorry, my give-a-care is out of stock.

Polite on the outside, savage in the notes app.

Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.

My silence is just me being polite.

I'm not sassy. I'm just saying what everyone's thinking.

Throwing shade? No, just blocking the sun for you.

If you're waiting for my apology, get comfy.

Petty? No. Precise.

Your drama doesn't match my outfit.