I'd tell you a joke about my patience, but it ran out.

I'm on a break from people who waste my time.

Keep rolling your eyes. It's great exercise.

Being this unbothered takes practice.

Sarcasm levels rising. Proceed carefully.

Fake friends disappear faster than my weekend.

I'm not avoiding you. I'm just busy doing literally anything else.

I have lots of energy. Just not for you.

I'll be nicer when you're smarter.

Let's be honest: I'm the best part of this photo.

Some call it savage. I call it Tuesday.

My comeback is on two-day delivery.

Just because you're awake doesn't mean I am.

My patience has left the chat.

Not bossy. Just correct.

Sure, I'll add it to my list of things I don't care about.