Honesty hour: I wasn't listening.

I'd roast you, but it's too hot out.

My sarcasm is a gift. You're welcome.

I came, I saw, I judged.

Thanks for the unsolicited advice. I'll file it in the bin.

Being this unbothered takes practice.

I have lots of energy. Just not for you.

Keep underestimating me. It's hilarious.

I speak fluent sarcasm and a little bit of eye roll.

Fake friends disappear faster than my weekend.

Petty? No. Precise.

Attitude? Please. I have taste.

Not bossy. Just correct.

Ghosting is just me reclaiming my time.

I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I'm pretty close.

I'm not short-tempered. You're just long-winded.