Fake friends disappear faster than my weekend.

I'm not lazy, I'm selectively motivated.

My sarcasm is a gift. You're welcome.

You can't handle my energy, and that's fine.

I have a black belt in eye rolling.

Petty level: expert.

I have zero chill and even less patience.

You woke up and chose chaos. So did I.

Not bossy. Just correct.

Thanks for the unsolicited advice. I'll file it in the bin.

I'd roast you, but it's too hot out.

Okay, and?

Your opinion has been noted and ignored.

If you're waiting for my apology, get comfy.

I don't do drama. I watch it.

Life's too short to explain myself twice.