I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I'm pretty close.

I'm on a break from people who waste my time.

My comeback is on two-day delivery.

Sorry I'm late. I didn't want to come.

You can't handle my energy, and that's fine.

Be yourself. Unless you're annoying. Then be quiet.

I came, I saw, I judged.

Your opinion has been noted and ignored.

Didn't read your text. Still thriving.

Polite on the outside, savage in the notes app.

I speak fluent sarcasm and a little bit of eye roll.

Talk to the filter.

I'm not lazy, I'm selectively motivated.

If I wanted your opinion, I'd have asked. I didn't.

If you're waiting for my apology, get comfy.

Your drama doesn't match my outfit.