I'm on a strict diet of whatever's in the fridge.

Currently accepting applications for someone to do my laundry.

I'm the reason the group chat has trust issues.

I'm a people person, as long as they bring food.

The group chat is 90% memes and 10% plans that never happen.

Me pretending to understand the group chat.

My cooking is so good the smoke alarm cheers me on.

I tried to be productive but the couch won.

My phone is at 100% and I'm at 5%.

The group chat is 90% memes and 10% plans that never happen.

If laziness were a sport, I still wouldn't compete.

I put on my "doing nothing" outfit today.

I tried to be productive but the couch won.

My sense of direction is a myth.

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.

Did I sleep 8 hours or 8 minutes? Unclear.

Currently buffering. Try again later.

Professional snack taster, amateur everything else.

My hair has a mind of its own, and it's not a nice one.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.

My cooking is so good the smoke alarm cheers me on.

Me pretending to understand the group chat.

Here for a good time, not a long time. Especially at meetings.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.

Currently accepting applications for someone to do my laundry.

Proud member of the "5 more minutes" club.

I'm fine. My search history says otherwise.

My hair has a mind of its own, and it's not a nice one.

I'm a people person, as long as they bring food.

Water, check. Snacks, check. Motivation, not found.