You tried. The internet noticed.

Is that your final draft?

Low battery, high standards. You didn't make the cut.

If I wanted to hear from you, I'd follow you back.

Wow, a keyboard warrior in the wild.

Thanks, I'll pass that on to someone who cares.

Do you need a hug, or just attention?

Thanks for the view, the comment and the free promotion.

This comment brought to you by boredom.

I love how confident you are about being wrong.

I'm not sure what you were going for, but you missed.

You're not a critic. You're a confused fan.

Aww, you're trying. That's sweet.

I'd love to stay and chat, but I'd rather not.

Congratulations. You've been ignored.

That's a lot of words for "I'm jealous".