I'd roast you, but I don't cook for free.

Tell your insult it can leave now.

This comment brought to you by boredom.

You're allowed to not like me. You're just not allowed at my table.

You're mad at someone who doesn't know your name.

Your comment made me smile. For the wrong reasons.

Take a seat. Actually, take two.

My therapist is going to laugh at this one.

I'd love to stay and chat, but I'd rather not.

I'd block you, but you're great entertainment.

It's giving jealousy with extra steps.

That's a lot of words for "I'm jealous".

You seem nice. From a distance.

Do you need a hug, or just attention?

I'm not arguing. I'm watching you lose.

Bold of you to assume I asked.