Thanks, I'll pass that on to someone who cares.

That's a lot of words for "I'm jealous".

I'm not offended. I'm just impressed you spelled it right.

Bold of you to assume I asked.

Did you mean to embarrass yourself, or was that a bonus?

Low battery, high standards. You didn't make the cut.

Is that your final draft?

Imagine being this bothered by someone this unbothered.

That's cute. Do another one.

You're acting like the main character, but you're an extra.

Please, tell me more about my life. I love fiction.

Imagine trying this hard and still missing.

I'd roast you, but I don't cook for free.

I'm not arguing. I'm watching you lose.

Try again when you have a real argument.

Say it again, but with facts this time.