Your vibe called. It wants a refund.

Oh, you thought I cared? Adorable.

Didn't read your text. Still thriving.

I'd agree with you, but I'm allergic to being wrong.

Let's be honest: I'm the best part of this photo.

Say less. Actually, say nothing.

Let me check my schedule for caring... nope, fully booked.

I'm not lazy, I'm selectively motivated.

Keep underestimating me. It's hilarious.

Sarcasm levels rising. Proceed carefully.

I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I'm pretty close.

I'm on a break from people who waste my time.

Be yourself. Unless you're annoying. Then be quiet.

You're not my type. My type is people who make sense.

I love how you think you matter here.

I'm the reason the group chat went quiet.