Dance like nobody's watching. They're not. They're on their phones.

Dance like nobody's watching. They're not. They're on their phones.

Some people have abs. I have snacks.

My favourite workout is running out of patience.

Professional snack taster, amateur everything else.

Adulting level: cereal for dinner.

Me pretending to understand the group chat.

Let me overthink this and get back to you.

I'm not clumsy, the floor just loves me.

I can't adult today. Please leave a message.

Remembered everything I forgot. At 2am. In bed.

My cooking is so good the smoke alarm cheers me on.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.

Life update: I finally folded the laundry. Just kidding.

My love language is being left alone with snacks.

The group chat is 90% memes and 10% plans that never happen.

Mentally, I'm still in bed.

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.

Let me overthink this and get back to you.

If you need me, I'm in my blanket fort.

My sense of direction is a myth.

I followed a recipe once. Never again.

Social battery: 2%.

If you see me smiling, I'm thinking about food.

If laziness were a sport, I still wouldn't compete.

I'm a people person, as long as they bring food.

Calories? I prefer to call them flavour points.

Keep calm and pretend you know what you're doing.

I put on my "doing nothing" outfit today.