Imagine spending your day on my page. Couldn't be me.

Low battery, high standards. You didn't make the cut.

I'd be upset, but I'm busy being happy.

I'm not arguing. I'm watching you lose.

That was a lot of confidence for a very small point.

You sound like a bad review of yourself.

You tried. The internet noticed.

Your opinion is like a pop-up ad. Closed.

I've been insulted by better people.

That insult had a loading screen.

The audacity. The typos. The drama.

My life, my rules, your problem.

Thanks, I'll pass that on to someone who cares.

Next time, bring a better line.

Thanks for stopping by. The exit is on the left.

I'd roast you, but I don't cook for free.