The group chat is 90% memes and 10% plans that never happen.

Let me overthink this and get back to you.

My to-do list has a to-do list.

If you see me smiling, I'm thinking about food.

Dance like nobody's watching. They're not. They're on their phones.

I have two moods: hungry and sleepy.

Calories? I prefer to call them flavour points.

Me: saves money. Also me: sees a sale.

I can't adult today. Please leave a message.

Water, check. Snacks, check. Motivation, not found.

If you need me, I'm in my blanket fort.

Every day I wake up and choose snacks.

Keep calm and pretend you know what you're doing.

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.

I'm a people person, as long as they bring food.

Life update: I finally folded the laundry. Just kidding.

I put on my "doing nothing" outfit today.

Me: saves money. Also me: sees a sale.

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.

I have two moods: hungry and sleepy.

Let me overthink this and get back to you.

If you need me, I'm in my blanket fort.

My goal this week: find my other sock.

My to-do list has a to-do list.

I'm on a strict diet of whatever's in the fridge.

Currently buffering. Try again later.

I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really into this nap.

Monday called. I didn't pick up.

My spirit animal is a sloth on vacation.

My hair has a mind of its own, and it's not a nice one.